News alert! We're human!
We misstep, misjudge, take the wrong path, choose poorly, speak rashly, give in to our frailties, faults, and foibles . . . or just plain goof.
It's what we humans do. Repeatedly. But still. While it is best to take charge of our mistakes and admit our responsibility for them, it doesn't mean that all the negatives in our lives are our fault.
I've read posts from newly diagnosed ulcerative colitis patients asking, pleading, in full sincerity and some desperation, "What did I do to develop this?" "Did my diet cause this?" "Was I not exercising enough?" "Did my stress trigger this?" "WHAT DID I DO WRONG?"
I've never heard a lupus or multiple sclerosis or
rheumatoid arthritis or any other autoimmune disease patient say, "What
did I do to cause this?" (Some think stress triggers an initial autoimmune response.)
Because UC is an intestinal disease, we think our messy, smelly, painful symptoms must be caused by our bad or unhealthy behavior. I believe that is partially because the world tells us that over and over and over again. And the beat of this message has been loud and banging, and it's been around for a long time, as in decades.
No wonder some UC patients have family or friends that say, "If you would just change your diet, you'd feel better!" "If you just exercised, you wouldn't be so tired!" "You're eating that? No wonder you have diarrhea!" We've all been programmed along those lines.
It would be nice if our condition was caused by something we were doing or not doing, eating or not eating, that could simply be changed. Oh, that it would be that easy!
But ulcerative colitis IS an autoimmune disease! The disorders of a malfunctioning immune system are some of the biggest medical mysteries of our time. Millions of people suffer extremely because their immune systems are out of control and have gone rogue against their own bodies. And I'm convinced that many of the undiagnosed medical conditions out there are actually unknown autoimmune disorders.
Genetics most probably play a role in these diseases. If that is the case, there is not a thing we can do about it until genetic treatments are available, and that is far into the future.
Thinking that UC is our fault CAN cause additional stress that might trigger a flare or make a flare worse. Yet another reason to stop taking blame where there is none.
If there is someone in your life who implies that your UC is your fault, tell them that ulcerative colitis is an autoimmune disease, then tell them to look it up on the internet. If they're willing, take them to your next doctor's appointment and ask your doctor to explain UC to them.
Decades ago, I heard someone say that when a person developed a chronic disease or even cancer, it was because they had done something bad and their guilt was being manifested in their bodies through the disease or the cancer! Can you imagine saying to a cancer patient, "This is your fault! What horrible thing did you do that you're trying to hide?" Yikes.
The question, "Why is this happening to me?" is a common question of people going through hard times, be they temporary or permanent. But we are humans, with imperfect bodies that get ill, injured, and age. We live in an imperfect world where all kinds of negative things happen, just because. (Lots of good things, too, let's not forget!)
So . . . the title of this post is, "What Did I Do Wrong?"
I hope you realize now, the answer is . . .
Absolutely nothing.
© Colitis Senioritis 2024
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