I read an interesting article titled, "I'm Sick With Alice in Wonderland Syndrome." The article is about Etta who was bedridden for two years with a condition that left her feeling like she was "floating" outside of her body, "unable to even shower." The article states, "According to Healthline, people with the syndrome may feel larger or smaller than they actually are and also find that the room they’re in . . . seems to shift and feel further or closer than it really is, much like the classic Lewis Carroll character, Alice."
The rest of the article talks about Etta's long diagnosis journey and her efforts to process and manage her condition. But at the end of the article, she says, "I had to relearn how I thought about my disease and how I approached it to be able to heal. It took a tremendous amount of work . . . I had to think of myself as a healing person, not a sick person.”
I understand that we who have Crohn's or ulcerative colitis cannot be cured. Nevertheless, that statement really struck me.
What is a healing person? What does "healing" mean for someone with a chronic condition that currently has no cure? If you can't be cured does that mean "healing" doesn't apply to you?
When I think of the word "healing," I feel warmth, light, hope, and purpose. When I think of the word "sick," I feel coldness, darkness, despair, and loss. I realized that as long as I thought of myself as a sick person (which is what I was doing), I was leaving myself susceptible to those negative feelings. But after reading that article, I purposely started to think of myself as a "healing" person, living in the warmth, light, hope, and purpose of my life, not in the despair and darkness of my disease.
It has made all the difference.
Attitude! Perspective! I am a HEALING person! Even if my body can't be healed right now!
On my "Life Takes Guts - Unfortunately" page, I wrote, " . . . wishing and hoping and “happy” thoughts will not keep UC at bay." That is absolutely true. However, our negative thoughts will sabotage and impair our abilities to get through the bad flares, and perhaps more significantly, thwart our efforts to delight in the good times.
The article ends with Etta saying, "My biggest hope for the future of course is to find a cure. Now that I have hit rock bottom with my health and recovered to where I am now, I have so much hope.”
HEALING and HOPE. Words to live by!
© Colitis Senioritis 2022
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