"I decided to finally get over myself."
I read this in a recent post from someone who had difficulty walking due to juvenile idiopathic arthritis. During a bad flare she "decided to finally get over" herself and start using a cane. She said the cane "literally changed" her life (her words), and allowed her to walk pain free.
What is wrong with us?
There are so many assistive devices and items out there to help those of us with chronic diseases, permanent injuries, or just regular old problems from aging. But for some reason, many of us fight, push back, dig in our heels, stomp our feet, and refuse, ABSOLUTELY NOT, to use assistive devices.
I've shared my own, "No way I'm wearing those," moment regarding adult diapers before. Once I gave in, they helped so much! I wrote that they, "prevent frustration overload at home and anxiety away from home. I don't have to wear them all the time, but when I do, I am so grateful for them."
Okay, so why did I push back when adult diapers were suggested to me?
I thought long and hard about it. My conclusion is probably one of the most universal reasons given . . . "That's for old people, not me."
Ouch. And my apologies.
What got me "over myself" was badly messing myself four times in three days, with two of those times being only two hours apart. It took me getting literally in a mess of poop to get over it. At least I didn't hurt myself.
And that's a point . . . a big, huge elephant-in-the-room point. By refusing to use adaptive devices in certain situations, we could be putting our health or even our lives at risk. Not to mention possibly causing unintended problems for loved ones, the people we keep insisting we do not want to be a burden on. Yet by refusing helpful, assistive devices, we are doing exactly that . . . causing ourselves to be an unnecessary burden to loved ones, who want us to be able to enjoy our lives and our family the best we can.
RandomistShadows recently posted the following on the Reddit
r/ChronicIllness thread. I was so impressed I asked permission to reprint it here. (This is not the same poster I referenced at the beginning of my post.):
Using mobility aids has been one of the best decisions I've ever made
I have ME/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), Fibromyalgia, and a couple other things. I debated whether or not to get a mobility aid for a long time as each of my doctors had different opinions. My pain team is completely against them, however they also seem to completely ignore my ME (the main this disabling me). My physical therapist however was all for it. I saw her more often, she listened to ALL of my symptoms, and she actually proposed the idea of ME and explained to me the symptoms and similarities. She didn't propose the idea of mobility aids, yet she was supportive when I brought them up. She helped me learn how to use them as well.
I've now been using a rollator for a few months and a cane for a couple weeks, and oh my god I'm so glad I pushed for it.
It took my mom a bit of time to finally get me the rollator as she didn't want to accept that I needed it. Eventually she ordered it. I've been using it at school to hold my backpack as I go from class to class so it's not weighing me down when I'm feeling weak, and I've been using it in stores too. When I have to look up at signs and what not it allows me to be supported when I get dizzy. It lets me sit whenever I need to and overall makes walking take less energy. It's amazing.
I can't use the rollator inside my home due to small hallways and overall inaccessibility. I also had to go out to lunch during a flare up a few times and didn't take it because we just had to go from the car to table. I determined that a cane would help with both of those things. My mom bought me the cane with little to no issue and it's already made such a difference. I can now safely walk around my house during a flare up and get myself food instead of relying on my mom. Before, my legs would barely be able to hold me up and I'd have to lean on the walls constantly. Now I feel safe. I didn't realize how much of an issue it was before, it was just something I thought I had to live with. But I don't have to deal with it for the most part anymore.
I don't use the cane every day or even every time I get up. I can determine when I do and don't need it. I almost always use the rollator but I still assess whether or not I need it. I only rely on them when I feel unsafe without them. I've directly disproven the main reason my pain team was against them. Getting these has given back some of my independence and I couldn't be more grateful.
I posted a thank you to her for sharing her experience and shared mine with the adult diapers. This was her great response back:
Yes! That's honestly exactly why I made this post. They need to be normalized, there's no reason they shouldn't be. Having these things simply improves our quality of life. Glasses, coats, sports bras even! They all help improve quality of life and make performing tasks easier and more enjoyable. I'm so glad that your aunt suggested adult diapers, and I'm proud of you for getting them. It can be so hard to accept that these things may help because of the pointless stigma surrounding them.
Stigma, taboo, vanity, ego . . . I think THAT is what is wrong with us. We need to stop looking at these things as negatives making us look bad, and instead, be grateful to them as positives, making everyday tasks easier for us and our caregivers in so many ways, and as RandomistShadows said, give us back some of our precious independence. We need to remember that it wasn't that long ago that these devices didn't even exist.
In 1634, the ear trumpet was invented as the first hearing aid. It looked like a large horn you held up to your ear. Hearing aids (another device we often put off using) have come a long way in the last four hundred years. It's time that our attitudes on illness, aging, and assistive devices do, too.
© Colitis Senioritis 2024
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